The other evening Son came to visit and we were sitting in the room in our house we’ve always called the blue room. It doesn’t have its own assigned identity like family room or den because the whole first floor living area is an open floor plan, but for many years we had a blue sectional in it and even though the sectional is long gone it’s still the blue room. I was talking and Son was alternately listening and looking at the ceiling above my head and finally I asked what he was doing.
SON: (looking up) These are expensive lights, aren’t they? I see them a lot now in houses. They’re very popular. What are they called?
OSV: (also looking up) They’re called recessed lighting or high hats.
SON: Very nice. You were smart to put them in.
OSV: They were already here. The people before us had them installed.
SON: That surprises me because I remember them as being kind of idiots.
OSV: They were the prototype for idiots. But smart about the lights.
SON: (nodding approval) This lighting adds value to the house.
I have conversations like this with Son all the time now and it slays me. We have probably sat in that blue room fifty thousand times in the past twenty years and suddenly we’re discussing lighting installations and how they might influence a return on our investment.
Adulthood springs up in unexpected places. In the past, my experience has been solely with my own adulthood which was plenty springy. This having adult children now adds a whole layer of interest. Thomas Wolfe may have said you can’t go home again but all that means is he didn’t have a child who read SmartMoney or they’d have kept that house in the family.
Daughter called a while back to ask if I thought she was allowed to run for a position on her co-op board even though she doesn’t currently have ownership of the apartment. I asked her why she wanted that kind of commitment and she said she thought solar power was a viable option for her building and she wanted the proper platform to introduce it. The conversation we had moments before that one was about her plans to go body surfing in Costa Rica on the next school break. I experience these subject jumps as verbally induced vertigo.
This is a great time in my kids’ lives and the best part is they know it. It makes me remember when “I’m out of here!” didn’t require ten days of preparation. Have the post office hold the mail. Suspend newspaper delivery. Make sure the Visa bill is paid to catch the due date. Tell the neighbors. Refill the prescriptions. Buy a dog and add a trip to the kennel. Now I’m out of here.
I’m thrilled they see every option as open. There’s always time to find out otherwise and the options change soon enough. My favorite scene from The Graduate was when Benjamin told his parents he was going to California to marry Elaine right before he revealed that Elaine never wanted to see him again. They said to their son with concern, “This plan sounds a little half-baked.” To which he replied, “No, it’s completely baked.” The movie ends with them running off together on a city bus, an unlikely pair in scruffy khakis and a wedding dress. Sweet possibility.
Faces You Can’t Look Away From are the subject of Daughter’s Featured Fotos
it’s for you. 3rd annual deitch art parade, nyc
heads on sticks. chashama art studio/cooperative, nyc
giant heads chatting. deitch art parade
i knew you’d call