I ran into a computer problem this week and had to arrange a rescue. Lately, every time I published an article it would show up on everyone else’s computer but mine. I’d have to wait hours and then log back on and suddenly there it was. I actually received a comment before I could even see the entry. I emailed my blog host and asked why this was happening and they said the site looked fine from their end so I might have a virus or my settings were off or my browser needed refreshing or the moon was in the seventh house, whatever. They sent me a list of troubleshooting actions I could take but I knew the action I would really take was to call someone else to do it.
I opened the phone book and started calling local computer virus hunters. The first one sounded like a rip-off, the next sounded like I woke him up, one appeared to be operating from his parents’ basement or the Laundromat and the last one I had actually heard advertise on the radio, as in “This traffic report has been brought to you by TeleTechie.” I hadn’t planned on calling anyone with an advertising budget but he was pleasant and the price was reasonable and he didn’t talk to me like he had all the answers and I was an idiot so I hired them. One thing I know is there will always be time down the road for people to find out you’re an idiot, you don’t have to offer it up for free.
TeleTechie sent a nice young man filled with knowledge who ran a diagnostic on my laptop and found nothing overtly suspicious, just lazy settings and unnecessary cookies. Now that I’m so informed, what I suspect happened is I was downloading something and there was another item attached that I accepted indiscriminately because I always just hit Next when the computer says Click Next. It’s like I want to please the computer or something, like I’m afraid it’ll be pissed off if I dare to be so cavalier as to X out after it just gave me permission to hit Next. Oh God, the desire to satisfy inanimate objects, if that isn’t one for my list with the Wise Man I don’t know what is.
Electronically, I’m humming along nicely now and also trying to curb my spontaneous nature and look at what the hell I’m doing. But acting on impulse has served me well in my life. It’s how I buy shoes and earrings, even real estate. A few years ago Husband and I were upstate spending a weekend at a Bed & Breakfast near where Husband went to college and he started getting nostalgic about how much he loved the area and how beautiful it is. And it is. We decided to just price small condo units in the area so we looked in the Sunday real estate section. There was ONE condo listed for private sale and we called and went over to see it. As soon as we walked in I knew it was for us. Husband said let’s talk about it (he loves to talk about things, he’s a social worker) but I said let’s buy it. I love the adrenaline rush of saying YES! He said, “No, really” and I said “Yes, really” and he said “No, really” and it went on like that the whole way back to the B&B.
Eventually Husband called the owner to negotiate price. Buying I know how to do. Haggle price, never. And I’m not alone in this. I’ve talked to my friends about it and it seems to be a female thing, at least among my circle of females. We can’t resist a sale but square off against an individual seller and hard bargain? I don’t think so. This is not to say that women who can pull this off, like Manhattan real estate brokers, are any less feminine or that medical science should be researching them for undescended testicles. I’m just observing that the scenario is more like guys love to negotiate and women love to watch them. For men it’s like jousting except with checkbooks instead of swords. And for a woman, watching the man she loves win something for her using his wits and powers of persuasion is romantic. After all, that may be how they got us in the first place.