Last week we had a plumber come to snake out some pipes and now there is a dreadful odor under the kitchen sink. In preparation for the plumbing service, I cleared out the stuff under the sink and discovered a leaking can of insect repellent which I immediately discarded. So now although the pipes seem fine we are struggling with this bad thing in the kitchen which is either a result of the rotting aerosol can or something the plumbers did. Husband says it’s the plumbers and he may be right since they had to keep going back to the truck for a longer snake and I don’t know where they were trying to reach but I think they hit Middle Earth and God knows what they released. Husband wants me to call them but the pipes are fine and what do I say on the phone? “Hi, you guys cleared our clog but would you please come back and pick up your stink?” Last night Husband and I were talking about it and it brought us back to another smell in our joint memory so I’ll tell you about Algodones.
We like to travel and the Southwest is a favorite destination, especially for Husband who loves Native American culture and relics from the past like petroglyphs and rock formations. We try to visit new places and experiment with different accommodations so on one trip to New Mexico we booked a night in the town of Algodones at a restored stage coach stop converted into a bed and breakfast. The hacienda was comprised of lovely attached villas surrounding a courtyard with French doors on each villa opening out onto the courtyard. Since it was late summer and just a beautiful evening, we went to sleep with one of the French doors half open to let in the New Mexico breeze.
Now I will share with you that I never pee in the dark. Husband prides himself on not needing lights to conduct his business but I’m a huge fan of illumination. He’s always encouraging me to give it a try because he has this pioneer thing and also because the light disturbs him when I get up in the middle of the night and go into the bathroom. So I figured I’d give him a treat at this hacienda and not turn the light on at all when I went for my middle of the night pee.
I felt my way into the bathroom and closed the door silently behind me. Then I groped around until I could feel I was near the toilet and as I pulled down my pants and prepared to sit I heard a noise like a delicate scratching. I froze in place and waited. There it was again louder. I’m not alone. OH MY GOD, I thought, there’s a spider in here, a really BIG spider because that is my most horrific fear that I will sit on a big hairy spider in the dark and feel its legs brush against my bare butt and OH MY GOD! But wait, spiders don’t make noise and I’m in New Mexico so IT’S A LIZARD that’s what it is because lizards have little claws that would make that kind of noise on a tile floor and I’M IN THE BATHROOM BUTT NAKED WITH A LIZARD but lizards don’t smell and WHAT IS that smell?
I was afraid to bend over and pick up my pants so I shuffled toward the wall and with each shuffle I could hear the scratching get more frantic and the smell get stronger. My hand reached the light switch and as I flipped it on I turned to face the stinking scary lizard. Except it wasn’t a lizard. It was a skunk.
What? I’m in a closed bathroom with a skunk? We stood there staring at each other, him in his black and white fur coat and me with my Victoria Secret leggings around my ankles. Now what? I’ll tell you now what, he was starting to turn around and raise his tail. OH NO! I don’t know why I did this because he was a skunk but I said, “Easy there, it’s okay.” The sound of my voice seemed to calm him and although he was still skittering from side to side across the tile at least he wasn’t giving me his back and raising his tail. Glancing around I could see he was between me and the door so I began taking tiny shuffles forward and talking in a soft voice so as not to panic him. We sort of danced around like this until we had changed places and I could open the bathroom door.
Now I have to tell you that Husband sleeps in a mask. He has sleep apnea so he wears an apparatus that fits over his face like a gas mask and it’s attached to a hose which is in turn attached to a C-PAP machine. So now I’m shuffling past the bed with the skunk a few paces ahead of me trying to aim him for the courtyard door and cooing encouragement as we go when suddenly Husband sits bolt upright and in a voice like Darth Vader on meth he rasps out, “WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?” which makes the skunk bolt for the door and skitter into the courtyard with me stumbling after him to slam the door.
The upshot is I never get asked to pee in the dark anymore and in fact I make sure there is a frigging aurora borealis in every bathroom I go into and I swear to God that’s the way it is and no one can change it.
My plan was a Wildlife theme for Daughter’s Fotos but let’s mix it up and go Underwater instead.
whale with school, atlanta aquarium
jellyfish, vegas
jellyfish, atlanta
sleeps with the fishes