There is no better friend to the insomniac than a place where anyone anywhere can sell anything anytime. And where there is someone selling, there is someone buying, or as the case may be, bidding. It’s like being at a poker game in your jammies with Conan in the background. If there were a way to suck down fat-free Bailey’s on the rocks while you were doing it we’d be at the edge of perfection.
I have looked in on eBay a hundred and ten times but never have I purchased anything until last week. When I spotted the page that responded to my Google inquiry I was too excited to even bid on the item I had found for fear I might lose it to a higher bidder. So I took a deep breath and hit Buy It Now! with full knowledge that I was overpaying but in the end things are really only worth how much we want them and then all bets, and bids, are off.
The treasure I had found was a complete service for six (including the spoons!) of flatware from the 1940s with Bakelite handles in the most delicious butterscotch color imaginable. In case you don’t know or don’t care, I’ll just tell you briefly that Bakelite is a very collectible vintage plastic that was produced in the first half of the 20th century and was used for campy costume jewelry and kitchen utensils among many other things. The colors have yummy descriptive names like creamed corn, apple juice, pumpkin and root beer to name a few. There are actually chemical tests to do on an item to determine if it is real Bakelite. Were it not for the serious insanity of die-hard collectors, the fact that there is a test to ensure authenticity would be funny considering we’re talking about PLASTIC.
The set arrived on Saturday and it was even more indescribable than described. Husband watched me carefully unpack the 24 pieces and lay them out on the counter.
HUSBAND: I can see how happy these forks make you. What are you going to do with them?
OSV: I’m going to set the table with them.
HUSBAND: What about the forks we already have?
OSV: These will take their place.
HUSBAND: You want me to eat with orange plastic utensils?
OSV: Of course not. They’re butterscotch Bakelite.
I couldn’t find a buyer for this idea (or even a bidder) so I cleared out the drawer next to the current flatware which wasn’t a bad idea either since my kids are in their twenties and probably won’t be using those sippy cups anymore. I called Husband into the kitchen to view our two silverware drawers side-by-side.
HUSBAND: It looks like we’re Kosher.
OSV: You sure you don’t want to just try eating with them once?
HUSBAND: Depends. What are we having for dinner?
We stood there looking at each other realizing it was five o’clock on a Saturday and we had two sets of flatware and no food to eat with them. So we went to the diner where I had a burger deluxe which was excellent. The fork, however, was painfully ordinary.
Taken on a visit to Chelsea’s art galleries, Daughter’s Featured Fotos depict images of Patiently Waiting
for direction on the dementia line
for a breaking story
for postcards from dead relatives
for hitchcock