Before we left on our Christmas cruise, I came down with a really crappy cold as you may recall from Meet Me In The Clubhouse. I felt almost recovered on our trip and I made a conscious effort not to complain to Husband, not because I’m particularly stoic but because whiny people are a pain in the ass to have a good time with. We had a good time.
Shortly after we got home, Husband started feeling really crappy and whatever he had at first morphed into bronchitis. I started my new semester at school and he spent his days dragging off to work and coming home early. I tried to cover all the bases as wife, student and nurse and over the weekend I did lots of errands, asking Husband each time I left the house if he wanted anything while I was out. He shook his head no repeatedly, not because he’s particularly stoic but because he didn’t want to be any trouble.
Saturday night as I was pulling on my pajamas he appeared in the doorway.
HUSBAND: Were you going out later?
OSV: Um, no, I wasn’t planning on it. Why?
HUSBAND: Do we have any Fritos?
OSV: Fritos? No.
Silence.
HUSBAND: Fritos would make me feel better.
OSV: Really. (putting jeans back on) Anything else besides the Fritos? Something medicinal maybe?
HUSBAND: No, just the Fritos.
I walked down the stairs with Husband’s voice calling after me, “If they don’t have Fritos get any kind but I really like the Fritos.”
The next morning, despite the prescription corn chips, Husband returned to the doctor with new symptoms. He walked back into the house holding another bag from the pharmacy.
HUSBAND: All the medication I was on for the bronchitis gave me something else. I’ve never had this before.
OSV: What is it?
HUSBAND: Thrush.
OSV: One of the kids had that as a baby.
HUSBAND: It’s a fungus.
OSV: I think it’s also the evil secret organization from Get Smart.
HUSBAND: You’re thinking of KAOS.
OSV: Then it’s the one from the Bond movies.
HUSBAND: No. THRUSH was the enemy in The Man From U.N.C.L.E.
OSV: Now it’s your enemy.
HUSBAND: I feel like shit. I’m going to bed.
OSV: Don’t worry. If anything happens to you, the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions.
HUSBAND: That’s Impossible.
Looking at Daughter’s Featured Fotos can’t help but make you Feel Better
street art at the candy factory
bathtub stoppers unite
naked bikini
the alley