The other morning at 7:00 after Husband left for work, I walked out of the shower and opened the bathroom door to total darkness. All the lights in our bedroom and hallway and stairway were off. When Husband leaves in the morning he turns out the lights. Unless I’m already out of the house and then he leaves every light on. There have been days I have come home to an empty house so illuminated I was certain there was a movie crew inside.
This is less about power usage than power struggle and it’s the kind of conflict that we all find amusing in other couples and not so much in ourselves. For my part, I present my case to him as a crusade for environmental conservation; why leave lights on when you’re gone because it’s wasteful on a global level. Husband’s global response is that this is a local issue, namely one of control. I want things my way. I can’t say he’s wrong.
I should probably give him the lights since he lost the heat. Several years ago he realized, as do most men married to women of a certain age, that his wife’s body was the True North of indoor climate and if one person in the room was having a hot flash, everyone was guaranteed enough fresh air to pop a lung. Until it blew over and then the thermostat would be pushed up two degrees past Guam. Husband not only had to acquiesce and dress accordingly, but he was required to act happy about it or else appear unsupportive.
And he had to listen. Especially to my ongoing frustration with the neighbors two doors down who leave their dog outside ALL THE TIME where he barks like he gets a paycheck for it. Husband always knew I was just letting off steam. I know you can’t make a dog sandwich and I wouldn’t eat one anyway. I did ask the neighbor right next door to the dog house if the relentless noise outside her window bothered her and she said, “What choice do they have? Nobody’s home all day.” And I’m thinking, what does that mean? He’s looking to play Scrabble? He needs a partner? He’s a dog. His job is to guard the house when the owners are gone and chew on their shoes. He can do this alone.
It made me wonder why some dog owners think their pet always needs company or entertainment and who do they think he’s schmoozing with anyway in their gated yard. When I mentioned this to the patient neighbor she said, “Well, if they locked him in the house he’d probably bark all day.” Which made me look around to see if there was a chance anyone else had heard that but unfortunately we were alone.
Later that week we went out to dinner with another neighborhood couple around our age who also hear the barking dog and I got a chance to vent some more. The wife noted that her current hormonal state makes her extra sensitive to annoying situations and she asked me if I find that as well. I told her honestly that I had the flashes and the insomnia but I really hadn’t noticed any mood swings. Husband looked at me so fast I thought he’d need traction. Then he gave my hand an affectionate squeeze and I could hear him thinking, “Nice little Medusa.”
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