In school yesterday, a bunch of us were talking about our plans for Thanksgiving, and when I got home I saw my friend Blondie had sent me an e-mail with a holiday gobble-giggle:
A man in Jacksonville calls his son in San Diego the day before Thanksgiving and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.
“Pop, what are you talking about?” the son screams.
“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the father says. “We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Denver and tell her.”
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like heck they’re getting divorced,” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this.”
She calls Jacksonville immediately, and screams at her father, “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.
The man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Okay,” he says, “they’re coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way.”
This holiday has crept up on me like a stalker in sneakers, and I’m wondering if it’s because now I’m the one who’s in school while my kids are graduated and working. Husband lost his Mom recently so our focus has been on that while the calendar pages flipped and the leaves hit the ground. Suddenly, Thanksgiving is around the corner.
Some of my friends are getting the ultimate taste of what life with grown children is really like as their kids break the news that they’ll be spending this holiday with the other family, aka the in-laws. Even if Thanksgiving has always been your holiday and you receive this news with a smile so plastic you could store cold cuts in it, graceful acceptance goes a long way toward family harmony and the creation of new traditions. To say nothing of providing a golden bargaining chip for the next one.
Your grown children need not be married, though, to test your flexibility. One woman in my class, who has children ranging in age from grade school up through the 20’s, was upset because her 22-year-old son who is living at home just got a large tattoo. And that’s the thing with working young adults living in the house where they used to be kids. Once they reach a certain age, your rules are really just suggestions. They’re in charge of themselves and their choices.
That’s what I said to her because I remember the delicate balance of that situation, and also, why should I be the only one with pierced, tattooed kids? You can face it down or turn your head away, but every parent has to walk into the wind every now and then. And when it does blow toward you, and the only thing left is deciding how to react, you could do worse than to remember that attitude is everything so pick a good one. Looking on the bright side of that big tattoo, nothing says Merry Christmas like a giant tube of Bacitracin.
Daughter’s Featured Fotos provide Unorthodox Symmetry
painted crabs
crawling out….it’s the hulk!
early bird crew
line up the usual suspects