I was in my neurologist’s office the other day, a yearly ritual with the doctor who treats my headaches, and the receptionist had me fill out a new medical history for their records. The other patient in the waiting room was a much older, stern looking woman, also filling out forms. She had a walker but no aide present, so I brought both of our clipboards to the desk when we were done. The fact that she didn’t thank me or smile can be forgiven considering our surroundings.
One form had a space for the patient to enter the names of any people the office had permission to speak to regarding the patient’s health, and I wrote in Husband, Son, and Daughter. The receptionist looked over the forms and addressed the older woman.
RECEPTIONIST: Ma’am, you left the patient contact page blank. Do you have any family we have your permission to speak with regarding your health?
PATIENT: I have seven living children.
RECEPTIONIST: Would you like the form back to complete?
PATIENT: No.
I was halfway out of my seat to get the clipboard for her, and when she gave such a quick negative response, the receptionist and I exchanged silent glances like, whoa. Having had a loving relationship with both my parents and my children, there is nothing sadder to me than a mother on that kind of emotional desert island. And the fact that she may have rowed there on her own and then thrown away the oars makes it no less sad.
January is the traditional month for examining the previous year and deciding how to do the next one better. And if the previous year was splendid, vowing to repeat the things we did right. Just as the summers of childhood seemed endless, the years of midlife seem fleeting. The 24 hours each day offers us somehow get shorter as we grow older, and I’m amused when my kids make reference to their mounting awareness of this. At sushi dinner on Christmas Day, Son shook his head and said, “Wow, this year really flew. Does time seem to be going by faster now, or is it just me?” It isn’t just him, and he’s not yet 25.
So after much reflection, here are my goals for the coming year that somehow already came:
1. See my friends more, in person, preferably chewing food or trying on shoes.
2. Remember all the wonderful reasons I married my husband.
3. Don’t give advice to my kids unless their sentence begins, “Let me ask you something…”
4. Work harder in school so I can be out earning a paycheck in my field before my first Social Security check arrives.
5. Have no regrets.
A belated Happy New Year to all, and may you never land on an island you can’t get home from.
Daughter’s Featured Fotos say Goodbye ’08, Hello ’09
christmas lights in the city
trapped mannequin
mustache gloves
first snow of 2009