I met Husband on the Upper East Side last night to have dinner with one of his former work colleagues and the colleague’s fiancé. Is the female fiancé or fiancée? I could look it up but it’s easier to ask you since you’re already here. Anyway, we had a lovely evening with delicious food (I had the rigatoni with Italian sausage, roasted tomatoes, and TWO glasses of Pinot Grigio, so you know I was very chatty) and Husband had free-range chicken and wasabi mashed potatoes, so he was the one with smoke coming out of his ears. The colleague and his fiancé(e) were really good company and we hope to see them again. Maybe even before their wedding.
To get into the city, I decided to walk to the train station from our house. It’s a little bit of a hoof, but it beats looking for a parking spot at the station at 3:00 in the afternoon. I looked out the window before I left, and the kids coming out of the school across the street were in sweatshirts, so I dressed accordingly. Poor choice. By the time I hit the main road, my eyes were tearing from the wind and my ears were frozen. So much for second-hand weather reports.
When my eyes tear excessively in the cold, I tend to get a blocked tear duct. Yes, I am very high maintenance. A real delicate flower. So I’m walking with my head bowed into the wind, water running from my left eye, and I’m remembering the last time this happened and I wound up in my ophthalmologist’s office. He’s kind of a quirky guy, like many of my doctors, and he told me before he began the procedure exactly what it entailed.
DR. EYE: (standing over me) I’d like you to fold your hands in your lap.
OSV: Why?
DR. EYE: Because when I do what I’m going to do to clear the duct, I don’t want your hand to spasmodically grab any part of my body that may be within reach.
I looked down to see my hand resting on the arm of the treatment chair parallel to his crotch.
OSV: What are you going to do to me?
DR. EYE: I’m going to insert a needle through your tear duct down into the nasal passage to clear it. Sometimes this causes the patient’s arms to flail.
OSV: (tasting panic) Aren’t you going to give me something?
DR. EYE: I’m giving you the advice to fold your hands in your lap.
The needle came at me and I clasped my hands together between my legs. I had no desire — sober or sedated — to distract my doctor by grabbing his goodies. As the needle descended into the inner corner of my eye, I heard him say, “Don’t blink,” and I have to tell you, if ever there was an instruction I would have died trying to follow, that was it.
So now I probably don’t have to explain the two glasses of wine at dinner.
Hear the Urban Music in Daughter’s Featured Fotos
work to do art show
the J train and the bridge
manufactured breeze or bent flowers?
music video at flatiron