My most recent embarrassing moments occurred during the same week in July. First, I was at Trader Joe’s in the produce aisle when a fellow female shopper observed I had just selected a container of grape tomatoes. She asked me if I thought they looked crunchy or soggy. I told her I had no idea; I was buying them either way. She said she hated when they looked crunchy but turned out to be soggy. I wondered if I could suddenly say my mother was calling me and take off down the aisle.
While I stood there planning my move, this normal-looking possible crazy woman picked up a container, popped open the plastic lid, picked out a tomato and pushed it against my mouth to taste. I instinctively knocked her hand away from my face, causing her to drop the entire container of tomatoes. They bounced EVERYWHERE. I gasped, “Oh my God!” as they scattered, so of course everyone looking up assumed I was the one who dropped them. The crazy lady then said under her breath, “They look soggy,” and walked away. I couldn’t believe it.
The next thing I couldn’t believe happened the following day when I got a ridiculous parking ticket at the train station. The tomato fracas was out of my hands, but for this $50 parking fine I could write a letter:
July, 2009
Village Justice Court:
I did something very foolish today which resulted in a parking ticket. I did not see a “guilty with an explanation” box on the ticket, and I hate to waste the Court’s time pleading not guilty, so I’m hoping you will give me a moment of consideration since I have been a Village homeowner and taxpayer since 1987.
I parked in Field 19 in the newly designed compact car area, which I have never done before. Since there were no cars parked across from me, I did not realize that the meter directly in front of my car was not mine. It’s my mistake. I didn’t look closely at where the arrows were pointing, so I put eight quarters in the wrong meter. The policeman who ticketed my car twenty minutes after I parked was justified since the meter for my spot was empty.
When I returned from the city, I saw the ticket on my windshield and realized what I’d done. Since I had my camera in the car, I took the following picture of the meter I put the money into that shows an hour and forty minutes was still left on it. Whether you ultimately require me to pay this ticket or not, I GUARANTEE you I will never repeat this idiocy.
It would make me feel so much less like a moron if you would consider dismissing this ticket or possibly reducing it. Either way, I won’t tell my husband if you won’t.
Thank you for your time and patience.
Sincerely,
OneSaneVoice
I sent the letter off with my corroborating photo evidence the day I got the ticket. I just learned that the Village has graciously decided not to pursue my parking infraction, so I’m home free. Someday I can even return to Trader Joe’s.
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