J.D. Salinger died this week. Friday’s paper said it happened on Wednesday, but he was such a massive recluse it figures he wouldn’t tell anyone for two days. I imagine he was a difficult guy, maybe depressive or even borderline according to those who got close enough to know. Still, it would be hard to come up with five words that command the kind of singular yet universal response as The Catcher in the Rye. Four decades after first reading it I still smile at Holden’s description of his sister, Phoebe, as being rollerskate skinny. I guess because I was too. RIP J.D. You never wanted my admiration but it couldn’t be helped.
Two other stories this week seemed to feed off each other, if you will. First, Glen W. Bell, Jr., the founder of Taco Bell, died at 86. I didn’t even know the Bell in Taco Bell was someone’s name and I’ve consumed my weight in Beef Meximelts over the years. Life changed when I had to start substituting Lipitor for guacamole, but we all must know our limits and manage them, right? Which brings us to the second story, this one written by a recovering anorexic who took up half a page ranting that the calorie content of restaurant meals shouldn’t be posted because it causes her anxiety. New York eateries have been posting this information for two years to promote health awareness and encourage better meal choices. At the risk of appearing insensitive, my lunch is not about your phobias. Pack a yogurt.
Even the Non Sequitur comic fit my cynical mood
But Cash Cab saved me. I wrote here about New York City’s game show in a taxicab in Take the money and ride, but the episode I watched while doing my math homework was classic. A very elderly couple got in the cab, a fragile looking pair easily in their eighties. When the lights started flashing and the sirens squealing inside the car, I was afraid one of them might throw an embolism and expire right there. They looked around panicked, like, “What’s that?” and the cabdriver/host, Ben Bailey, told them they were in the Cash Cab, a television game show. To which the woman replied, “You can’t afford a studio?”
Ben explained he’d be asking them questions on the way to their destination, and if they answered correctly they’d win money. He said, “What are your names?” The woman said, “I’m Arlene and this is Julius,” and she turned to Julius and said, “These questions are easy.” She was hilarious. The best part was that the questions were tough and they got them all right and won $550. When asked if they wanted to go double or nothing on the video bonus question, Arlene replied, “Just let us out at the museum and give us the money. We’re too old to take any more chances.” Don’t bet on it, Arlene.
Daughter’s Featured Fotos say Explain This
stylized mantis
basquiat
brain waves
walk, no, wait, no, walk