This past Thursday I got a call from someone at the college I’m getting my long-postponed degree from telling me that the main admissions office just called and said they’re missing a transcript from one of my previous schools. All my transcripts were sent by the schools I previously attended way back in August, and I glanced at the calendar to confirm that this was indeed February of the following year and why was this coming up now? I was told that admissions, located in a land far, far away, was only able to find page two of the transcript from my last school.
No worries, I said. They probably don’t realize it’s a double-sided transcript, so whoever is looking at the original just needs to turn it over and page one is on the other side. Several phone calls later I was assured that admissions did indeed have the original, but only page two. I’m taking a History of Math class right now and I’m certain there must be some law that states one side of a double-sided sheet can’t just disappear into the black hole of zero, but since it was hardly the time to engage in mathematical philosophy, I just asked what needed to be done to correct the situation.
I was told to fax the unofficial copy I had (also double-sided) over to the school and they would forward it to admissions. I booked it over to Staples forthwith and did just that. On my return home I had an email waiting for me saying they really needed the original, but far away admissions had contacted my former school and was told they would waive the $10 fee and send another one with my authorization.
Friday morning I called my former school to give authorization, but was told it needed to be done in person. I would have been shocked to hear otherwise. On my drive over there my cell phone rang and I pulled to the side of the road to take Daughter’s call. She was recovering from swine flu, as I mentioned in Eat Drink Mom Kids, but had been able to return to her job as a special ed teacher during the week. While at work she lost her balance restraining an agitated student and crashed backward into a wall hitting her head. She went home and proceeded to sleep for 18 hours straight, interrupted only by her boyfriend, whose job it was to poke her every two hours to make sure she was alive. Now she was calling me so I could stop worrying. As if that would work.
DTR: I’m just walking back from the doctors’ and they said everything is fine. The CAT scan was negative. My brain is okay.
OSV: So they said it’s the flu that’s making you sleep around the clock?
DTR: It was a CAT scan, Mom. They don’t do swine flu.
OSV: Who does swine flu?
DTR: My regular doctor who sent me for the scan. Don’t worry, Mom. What are you doing?
OSV: Oh, you know, the usual. Get some rest.
DTR: That’s what I’m all about.
I walked through the front door of my former school and was greeted by the Director of Admissions who gestured me into his office.
DOA: Here you go. Sign this form and we’ll mail your transcript right out, no extra charge. Just answer this question: how does one side of a two-sided original disappear?
OSV: It’s a math thing.
The mysterious tagger known as BNE strikes again in Daughter’s Featured Fotos
BNE in chel-sea
BNE on TV
DJs at BNE
i am BNE