Today I went to our local post office to drop some letters off. I am a big fan of the mailboxes that sit across from the post office entrance, the boxes for people doing the drive-by-drop-off thing without getting out of their car and actually entering the purgatory that is our local post office. Our branch is a stellar example of the current postal system, meaning that it takes forever to park near, an eternity to conduct any business in, and a time-sucker all around since 3/4 of the staff is on break at any given time. So I use the drive-by mailboxes and buy stamps at the supermarket.
When I pulled over to the curb and opened my window to let in the 100 degree heat, I realized the SUV ahead of me wasn’t moving. I could see there was a guy’s head behind the wheel and the motor was running, but no forward motion was happening. I gave a gentle beep to alert the driver of my presence, and when that had no effect, I beeped again. Finally, I drove around him and pulled to the corner where I parked my car and walked back. The SUV’s driver side window was open and inside sat a young guy in his twenties texting on his phone, seemingly oblivious to the fact that he was blocking access to every single mailbox. As I mailed my letters just inches from his face, he didn’t even look up from his phone.
OSV: Excuse me, but you may not realize that you’re blocking people from reaching these boxes.
JERK: People can go around me.
His withering tone of entitlement washed over me in the baking sun.
OSV: People can poke you in the eye, too. But that doesn’t make either thing right.
JERK: Stupid bitch.
OSV: Your apology is accepted.
I walked away feeling oddly satisfied with our verbal exchange. He called out some more salutations that were hard to discern. Maybe it was due to the distance; maybe because of the bulging neck veins strangling his voice. Either way, I like to think he was wishing me a nice day.
Earlier in the week on my way to school, I was stopped at a light on a busy road when I observed a driver on the opposite side suddenly attempt to back into the gas station he had just passed. People idiotically do this stuff all the time, except here there was a pedestrian walking across the entrance. The driver just backed right into him and the guy was knocked against a fence. When he realized he bumped something, the driver looked back and saw the guy against the fence, and STARTED YELLING AT THE PEDESTRIAN. I was facing the wrong way to get involved, but a car going in that direction pulled over to assist. Hopefully not in chewing out the guy who got hit.
Speaking of preventable accidents, nothing could be more tragically ironic than an incident that appeared in the newspaper on July 4th. A motorcyclist at an upstate protest against helmet laws died after he flipped over his bike’s handlebars and struck his head on the pavement. He was part of an entourage of Harley riders who were protesting New York’s helmet law by not wearing helmets. The doctor who attended the biker following the incident said his death could have been prevented if he had simply been wearing a helmet. I don’t know where to take this, except to say we must respect the things man has invented in the name of progress. Things like the wheel.
Dealing with the wheel actually goes back to ancient times. Many people are not aware that the enterprising caveguys who started it all traveled a rocky road on their way to making history.
MORG: It was my idea to make it round. Your prototype was a hexagon. Those test rides were kidney busters.
GROK: Maybe that’s because you drive like a girl. Why don’t you go play with fire? Hahahaha!
MORG: You are such a freak. Evolve already.
GROK: You don’t think I’m evolved, you monkey turd? Evolve this: we’re partners. And my half will always be bigger than yours.
MORG: Your HALF is bigger? Do you have any idea how stupid you sound? The Babylonians over that ridge have some numeral etchings you should look at, genius. I’ll see you in court. I’m gonna wipe your name right off that patent.
GROK: I don’t think so, partner. I got Zuckerberg’s lawyer.
Daughter’s Fotos are from Under the Influence at the Brooklyn Hip Hop Festival
window display
Inner 907
dark clouds
Tony Bones
Infinity