OneSaneVoice

Hand me the wrench

Posted on November 16, 2008 by onesanevoice

One evening a week ago, I flipped on the light to go upstairs to our bedroom and nothing happened. I looked all the way to the top of the steps and saw that the bulb in the ceiling light was burned out. I knew from past experience with this fixture that it’s a two-person job replacing the bulb since someone needs to hold the ladder steady to prevent it from toppling off the landing with the other person on it. Shit.

I mentioned the situation to Husband when he got home that night. Then I mentioned it again the next night and then again one of the following mornings thinking that maybe the darkness was preventing movement. Since daylight savings has effectively removed all semblance of daytime, my window of opportunity was shrinking. I lucked out Saturday morning around nine o’clock when Husband said he was ready. I jumped up to get the ladder, at which point Husband announced he’d hold the ladder steady for me but he wasn’t climbing it.

This seemed an ironic choice since I’m the one who broke my arm in March walking across a level floor, but the game was on so I went to get my climbing shoes. Up on the ladder, I was unable to screw the bulb in so Husband had to climb up after all. He called down the bad news. The socket was cracked in half and wouldn’t accept the bulb. The fixture had to be replaced.

Everyone has watched Extreme Makeover so you’ll hear me when I say any show starring us would be called Extremely Not Doing it Ourselves. I’ve covered the home renovation and repair terrain before in entries here and here so I won’t belabor the domestic stress that ensues. To avoid that, we always hire Dominic, a talented handyman/contractor from the Dominican Republic whose name is hard to pronounce so it’s just Dominic. I said to Husband that we needed to call him right away.

HUSBAND: What’s the hurry?

OSV: Well, there’s no hurry for you. You go to bed at 10:00 and I’m still up so all the lights are on downstairs. But by the time I’m ready to go up it’s pitch dark.

HUSBAND: Meaning?

OSV: Meaning I have to feel my way up a dark staircase late at night.

HUSBAND: Can’t you use a flashlight?

OSV: Who am I, Tom Sawyer? We live in a cave? We’re in a two-story house. It needs to be lit.

Husband looked at me like this was way more than he bargained for. I looked back at him like excuse me for being so high maintenance as to expect electricity. We stood there staring each other down until one of us went and called Dominic.

Dominic has had much silent amusement at my expense, but he is always too polite to laugh out loud. A while back, I asked him to come replace the broken smoke detector in the kitchen and he suggested moving it to a different wall. He said he was surprised it never went off being directly across from the stove and toaster oven. I said he could go ahead and move it, but it’s never been a problem.

The fact is, it went off incessantly for eighteen years, especially when the kids toasted consecutive waffles, which was always. If you ask my children, they will tell you their main memory of me is jumping up and down underneath the smoke detector flailing a dishtowel back and forth until the stupid thing shut up. You can advise them to cherish that memory because it could be worse. At least I wasn’t wearing a miner’s helmet going up the stairs.

Daughter’s Featured Fotos are Just the Way It Looks

tourists

the major food groups

natural energy

bubble wrap skirt/tights in the city, part 4

(see tights in the city, part 3)

Posted in 'Til Death Do Us Part | Tagged Extreme Makeover, handyman, home repairs | Comments Off

Take the money and ride

Posted on November 12, 2008 by onesanevoice

I can’t say I have a soft spot for the Discovery Channel, only because Husband always has either that or History on when I join him in the evening for some quality couple time in front of the TV. As a result of his ruling domain over the remote, I’ve sat through countless hours of finding out why hummingbirds hum and male seahorses have babies, and I’ve watched Field Marshal Rommel march over the ridge into Allied lines so many times it seems inconceivable that we only won the war once.

There is a particular show on Discovery, though, that has made it onto my ‘try not to miss’ list and that would be Cash Cab. At first glance, it seems like NYC is the only place this show could happen, meaning of course that it began in the UK. Most of our really imaginative New York-esque shows started life in Britain, like All in the Family in the ’70s, but actually it’s a trend that goes back to before the war we won together. It would make my day to find out that John Cleese is originally from the Bronx and he just had an awesome voice coach.

The premise of Cash Cab is that “there are 13,000 cabs in New York City but only one that pays you.” An ordinary looking taxi cruises the city streets and picks up unassuming passengers who are then invited to be contestants on the game show that unfolds inside the cab. An affable driver/host asks them trivia questions on the way to their destination, and they can rack up some nice winnings in addition to a free cab ride. No small score in itself.

Three wrong answers and the passengers are out on the street, regardless of how far they are from their destination. Getting stopped at a traffic light triggers a Red Light Challenge, a bonus question with a multi-part answer. If they get stumped on a question, they have two avenues for assistance – a mobile shout out using a cell phone, and a street shout out.

My favorite is the street shout out because it’s so New York. Picture a taxi carrying two young couples dressed to go clubbing, and they’re hanging out the cab window at a curb yelling to a pedestrian, “Hey, Lady! Can you help us out here? What organization was founded in 1966 by Betty Friedan? Do you know?”

And the Lady leans in the window and says into their very young, born in 1988 faces, “NOW!” And the clubbers respond, “Yeah, now. We’re on a game show. So do you know the answer?” And the Lady repeats even louder, “NOW! National Organization for Women! NOW!!” And the club noodles win a thousand dollars and they still don’t know who the hell Betty Friedan is. Now, if only John Cleese were driving.

Go along for a ride with Cash Cab here.

Scene On The Street is the subject of Daughter’s Featured Fotos

taking flight

garbage truck…wait!

still pouring cement on 1st ave

post election advice

Posted in Random Thoughts and Adventures | Tagged Britain, Cash Cab, Discovery Channel, game show in a cab, New York City, UK | Comments Off

Run for your life

Posted on November 11, 2008 by onesanevoice

It’s something of a guilty pleasure to read the post-election newspaper and wedge myself into the crowd of spectators watching the victorious Obamas soak up their new status as First Family. As a parent, I understand the President-elect’s current regret over having included his children in televised interviews during this historic election, which seems to have started around the time of RoboCop. Now the Obamas’ job as both leaders and parents will be to shield those children from the bizarre spotlight of expectations and voyeurism the media and citizens will undoubtedly provide. I would like to say in advance to the President I voted for and our First Lady: you’re welcome, and I’m sorry.

So much is being published about the process our country has just wrapped up and in other ways is only beginning that it became a challenge to find a non-political story to catch my interest in the paper today. But then I saw it under the ‘abroad and at home’ heading. It was right above the piece about an airline crew having to use duct tape to keep an unruly, inebriated passenger in her seat during a United flight from Puerto Rico to Chicago. In addition to striking a flight attendant and falling on a blind passenger’s head and then pulling the person’s hair, her antics caused the aircraft to land in North Carolina. For me, the most remarkable part of this story is that I wasn’t on the plane.

The item that grabbed me, so to speak, was about a female jogger in Arizona who was attacked by a fox while on a trail near Prescott. The animal bit her foot while she was running so she reached down and grabbed it by the neck to pull it off, at which point the fox then bit her arm. She wanted the animal tested for rabies so she ran a mile to her car with its jaws clamped to her arm. I feel compelled to repeat that because I can’t remember the last time I ran a mile to my car with or without a fox chewing on my arm.

Once she arrived at her automobile, she pried the animal off and tossed it in her trunk. You can go ahead and read that sentence again on your own without my emphasis. It certainly deserves a second look. She then drove to the Prescott hospital where the fox proceeded to bite an animal control officer. The sheriff’s department report stated that both the runner and the officer were receiving rabies vaccinations.

It always thrills me how much can be learned from a few short moments reading the newspaper, and it saddens me that print journalism is currently on such shaky ground with plummeting circulation amid reader desertion to online sources for current events. With that in mind, let’s review what we’ve just discussed:

1. Barack and Michelle Obama and their two lovely daughters will need the nation’s support and generosity of spirit as they settle into the highly visible new lives that only one of them was actively seeking.

2. For the safety and protection of all passengers and crew, our judicial system should institute a charge of FWI or Flying While Intoxicated. Anyone found guilty could be punished by having to fly to Australia and back in a non-reclining seat with no snacks.

3. Should we ever be jogging in the Southwest and a rabid animal attaches itself to our body, wow, that one’s a toughie.

Boring Headline: Blogger Visits Prescott Without Incident

Daughter’s Featured Fotos offer a better chance of excitement via the NYC 2008 Halloween Parade

jack-o-lanterns

your basic turquoise spandex

so little time, so many undead

enchanted forest

Posted in Random Thoughts and Adventures | Tagged Arizona, flying while intoxicated, news stories, NYC Halloween Parade, Prescott, rabid fox | Comments Off

We Don’t Get Fooled Again

Posted on November 4, 2008 by onesanevoice

On the front page of the newspaper today was a close-up of the young husband in our county who just confessed to killing his wife. Two days ago the front page sported a similar photo with the headline, “Husband of missing woman pleads for help in finding wife.” Yesterday his face appeared under the banner, “Body of missing woman found.” So today’s headshot was no big surprise.

Except to some. The day the 29-year-old teacher did not show up at her job and her car was discovered abandoned on the parkway and her husband was the picture of distraught concern, the similarly aged students in my school commiserated with him. Not the handful of us seasoned lifers. Those of us who’ve logged four or five decades on the planet exchanged looks that said, “Oh, he’s guilty. Take it to the bank.”

Our younger classmates were stunned at our jaded reaction. What had he done to earn our suspicion, they wondered. Well, for one, he read the police a text message he had received from his wife at 6:30 that morning on his way to the gym while she was driving to work. She wished him a wonderful day and wrote how much she loved him and how he meant the world to her and signed it hugs and kisses. This after just saying goodbye at home.

Those of us who are really alive at 6:30 in the morning driving to work are not texting love notes to the spouses we’ve been with for nine years and just kissed goodbye. We’re immersed in the daily rituals of commuting, like dribbling coffee from our travel mug or trying to decide when it’s safe to put on mascara in the rear view mirror.

There were other red flags, but let’s stay with the text message because it was so obvious. He didn’t respond to the message but he saved it. And there were no others like it saved in his phone. Certainly there are couples who exchange schmoopy messages, but why save just the one? People have patterns in their communications that are easily verified. Schmoopiness does not just appear fully schmooped. But clearly it’s impossible to fake a voicemail from someone you’ve already murdered so he no doubt saw his alibi devices as limited.

On the same page as the above mess was the follow-up to a previous story about a woman in a coma as a result of being poisoned by her estranged husband while she prepared their children for school one morning. At the time of his arrest, his statement was, “I sprinkled enough cyanide in her coffee to kill her.” Meaning that the coma came as a real frustration to him? Words elude me except to say that she has since died so at the very least they can charge his ass with the maximum.

Beneath these stories in the paper was a related one reporting that femicide – the killing of a woman – by her husband or partner is a leading cause of premature death for women in the United States. Reasons cited were the accessibility of guns combined with gains made by women causing their partners to feel insecure and angry. In less modern times, that premature death statistic applied to childbirth. Why does this not feel like progress?

Daughter’s Featured Fotos say Childhood Gone Strange

elderly tweety

swimmy fish sticks

walking mcnuggets

homeless on sesame street

Posted in Random Thoughts and Adventures | Tagged domestic violence, femicide, missing women, murdered women, the husband did it | Comments Off

Into the Night

Posted on October 31, 2008 by onesanevoice

Husband and I just returned from Florida where we spent the last several days. It wasn’t a vacation, though. Husband’s mom passed away. I wrote about my adorable mother-in-law in this entry right here and about how she always wanted her belongings to find the proper home so they would continue to be enjoyed. In the beginning it weirded me out; then I came to think of it as quirky and endearing. In the end, it was sadder, sweeter, and more poignant than I could ever have imagined.

My in-laws were married over 60 years and they were that couple who finished each other’s sentences seamlessly. They were so in tune and so comfortable together they could make snide but knowing remarks in front of each other that were right on target. When I first met them nine years ago, they had already been living in south Florida for over a decade having relocated from a tony New York suburb. I asked my mother-in-law how they came to choose that particular area for retirement.

She replied, “Your father-in-law really wanted to move to Florida. I told him I wanted to live anywhere else. So we compromised. We moved to Florida.” At that point she gestured around at all the palm trees and drug stores while my father-in-law dismissed her complaint with a wave saying, “Oh, you haven’t done so bad.”

My in-laws and I hit it off immediately. Husband had been widowed for over a decade when we met, and his mom hugged me at our wedding and whispered in my ear, “Now I can see what he was waiting for.” Husband has a sister and a married brother who arrived with his wife, so there were three of us women gathered in my mother-in-law’s walk-in closet down in their apartment after we returned from temple. My father-in-law had requested that everything in the closet be dispersed before we left.

Now I have to tell you that Husband’s mother was a fashionista. She died in her mid-eighties and we found receipts for custom-made jewelry dated a year ago. We found the custom-made jewelry, too. In her salad days, she was a sales associate at one of New York’s top-tier retail stores for over two decades and she treasured her employee discount. I am willing to wager that no one on the planet put it to better use.

Inside that closet, packed on every shelf and every inch of floor space, was the classy and sophisticated evidence of a life well-clothed, well-lived, and certainly always noticed. Louis Vuitton, Balenciaga, Fendi, Coach, Tiffany – they were all there. Suddenly, I appreciated the luxury she had infused into her daily life, and the haven it afforded her amidst whatever else was going on.

Over the next two days, my sisters-in-law and I sorted and divided and boxed whatever was left for charity. In alternating turns, the process was sad, frantic, overwhelming, giddy, and strangely cathartic. At one point, we thought we had dropped one of her Tiffany earrings on the carpet and we were all on the floor searching. Then Husband’s sister said, “You know, Mom is probably looking down at us laughing because we’re trying to find an earring she knows she lost ten years ago.”

The men were all in the other room the whole time talking about cars or work or stocks or whatever it is guys talk about, who knows. What I do know is that there were four women together in a closet that weekend, laughing and crying, and one of them was watching.

Daughter’s Fotos fittingly evoke Elegant Whimsy

Quintuplets in Queue by Yuko Shimizu

Prince of Plush Panda by Yuko Shimizu
Believe the Type Exhibition

Land of A
Believe the Type
An Exhibition Exploring the Art of Typography @ Ogilvy & Mather

best. shoes. ever.

Posted in 'Til Death Do Us Part | Tagged dealing with death, losing parents, loved one's belongings | Comments Off

Within, Without

Posted on October 27, 2008 by onesanevoice

On TV a couple of weeks ago, I saw an ad for a free $5 coupon if you went online to the Olay skincare site. So right there were two things I could love: coupons and Olay. I’ve been using Olay since high school, way back when it was called Oil of Olay, before oil fell from grace in everything but your car and furnace.

I am nothing if not an avid consumer. Husband will be opening the mail and he’ll hold up an envelope from CVS addressed to me and say, “Look! It’s handwritten from the company president. He wants to know where you were this week.” And well he should if he’s doing his job.

On the Olay website, my eye was drawn to a testimonial from a woman who wrote: “After one week of using Olay Definity, my friends asked me what I was doing differently for my skin. My husband even told me I looked luminous!” I was in my car before Windows shut down.

I’ve written in this space here and here about my frustration with discontinued products I’ve come to rely on for my natural look so I predict right now that Olay Definity will be off the shelves before you can try it. In fact, the CVS saleslady attempted to steer me toward the new Regenerist line so she must already know something, but the testimonial was for Definity so I went ahead and charged the foaming moisturizer and illuminating eye treatment.

I waited almost a week and then one evening when Husband came through the door after a long day, I greeted him with, “Hi sweetie! I hope you had a good day at work. Do I look luminous?” He stared at me confused, like he usually does when I’m ridiculous, and said, “Oh, yes. Absolutely. What?” Then he walked by me to the bathroom.

Husband is a great sport and I have certainly tested his limits. One winter several years ago, we were visiting Silverton, Colorado on vacation. Silverton is an extremely picturesque small town in Southwest Colorado. The nearest real city is over the San Juan Mountains to Durango at the other end of the Durango Silverton Railroad line. Silverton has two main streets, both restored to their old west flavor of the 1800’s. And like it no doubt was in the 19th century, everything but the bars shut down at dark.

It so happened after dinner one evening, I noticed I was in need of a drugstore remedy known as Monistat. I don’t want to upset my male readers, so I’ll just say that this is a product used to treat a specific feminine irritation. If you’re a woman you know what I’m talking about, and if you’re a guy, that’s all you need to know without your ‘blechhh’ reflex kicking in.

I confided my situation to our waitress who advised me to get to the only drugstore in town before they closed. If we missed it, the nearest pharmacy was in Durango, 75 miles away over snow-covered, winding mountain roads. We hurried along one of the two streets to Silverton Drugs on the outskirts of town. We arrived just before they locked the door.

Inside the tiny store, there were exactly two packages of Monistat on the shelf. I looked at Husband shocked and said, “Can you believe this? $25.99? This is $15 at CVS.” He looked back at me and said, “Are you kidding? These are the only two in an 80-mile radius. I say we buy both and leave a note on the shelf with our hotel address. If anyone wants the other one, it’ll cost them $40.”

In the end we only bought the one, and when we left the store, they locked up. Out on the street, Husband said, “Do you know how lucky you are we got here in time?” I said, “Me? You’re the one who’d be driving 75 miles over the mountain. I couldn’t sit that long in this condition.” And I’m sure when I said it I was totally luminous.

Daughter’s Featured Fotos highlight Wrecks & Wreckers

tomato spray. i think i’m allergic to this too

fighting cock whiskey. the only one

i say, “let it all out”

woody

Posted in Random Thoughts and Adventures | Tagged coupons, CVS, Monistat, Olay, Silverton Colorado | Comments Off

A New Term

Posted on October 23, 2008 by onesanevoice

Last week began a new semester at school and I was saddened to discover that one of my favorite fellow students had not returned. T. started the same time I did and we quickly became friends despite the fact she’s my daughter’s age. Which on second thought isn’t so odd since Daughter is one of my best friends. T. is the classmate who joined our family’s Mother’s Day celebration in That’s the word on the street, and suffered along with me the first semester with Mr. Magoo in Down the Rabbit Hole. We have a history.

T. gave me a heads up that she probably wouldn’t be back via a phone call at the end of last semester. Truth be told, she was doing way better than me in school progress. Where I began each semester still in Group D with the beginners, T. had advanced to the B group and seemed destined to actually finish in the advertised two-year period, a distant fantasy for me. But after a year and a half, she was sick of the stress and pressure and unable to see herself following this career path into the future. I felt sad and sorry, but that was about me knowing I’d miss her. For her I feel only supportive.

Now a fresh fall term has arrived and I must console myself with the flock of incoming students, a bevy of Britney/Beyonce clones with an Amy Winehouse or two all searching for meaningful mirror time in the ladies room. The ladies room is a two-seater and beyond tiny. If you swing open a stall door when exiting, you could injure someone standing at the sink. Our school used to be primarily female, but now we have a percentage of young guys as well. So we’ve lost the luxury of spilling over into the men’s room when the torrent of head-tossed hair creates a crowd too wild to manage next door.

For some reason, the doors to both bathrooms are never closed and the lights rarely on and everyone seems okay with that. I guess the lights being off compensate for the clear view inside. The first day back, one of my teachers asked me if I had practiced my studies at home over the break and I told her I tried to recreate my day at school as closely as possible. I started with an hour of review, followed by an hour of assigned homework, and finally an intense practice period. Then I finished up by peeing in the dark with the door open. It’s all about the routine.

Daughter’s Featured Fotos uncover Things that Go Together

red crayons and pigeons

rabbit bus

blowup dinosaurs in offices at night

treehouse and empire state

Posted in Skool Daze | Tagged back to school, peeing in the dark | Comments Off

The Great Equalizer

Posted on October 19, 2008 by onesanevoice

A good friend called me the other night asking for some buying points on eBay. She was unfamiliar with the whole place-a-bid-and-then-wait concept of this modern art form, and she thought I might be able to provide some guidance since the last time we were together both of the things she complimented me on wearing I had won online.

A little over two years ago, this friend endured a horrible family crisis followed by an even worse personal tragedy. Shortly after losing both parents in a close proximity of time, she inadvertently happened upon evidence that her husband of 25 years had maxed out their credit cards and also taken out new ones she knew nothing about to the tune of $60,000.

Distraught and devastated, she confronted him and set her mind and energy to doing whatever was necessary to rebuild their trust and financial future. Sadly, his own demons kept him from making the same commitment, and in a heartbreaking and unexpected action, he took his own life. She and I will always have a unique bond as I was with her when the police called with this life-shattering news. No one chooses an event that brings them into the heart of someone else’s life, but once it happens, the friendship’s landscape is forever changed.

In the two years that followed her husband’s death, she clawed her way out of the debt he left behind, and continued to build the career she had relied on and excelled at since her twenties. Always self-employed, she was forced to abandon ideas like replacing her old car or purchasing anything beyond necessities. Finding out I had found cool stuff on eBay reasonably priced made her wonder if she also could have as much enjoyment and success with it as I had. I told her to keep talking while I went to my computer and logged onto my own account for reference.

Earlier that day, the stock market had taken its biggest dip since the crash of 1929. For the past several months, the country has been gripped with panic as major investment houses have gone under and even banking institutions proved unstable. Neighborhoods that were always considered upscale became dotted with homes in foreclosure. My friend spoke on the phone philosophically as I looked over my eBay screen.

“You know,” she said, “I’ve been thinking for so long that I’m living a dog’s life. Like even if I could afford a newer car, where the hell am I going with gas $4.00 a gallon? I’m fifty years old and I don’t have health insurance or retirement savings. I never go to restaurants or take a vacation. But I’m finally out of debt and I even made the last payment on the mortgage. I got my teeth fixed with the money my parents left me. I belong to a gym.”

Here she paused. “Today it hit me that I’m probably better off than half the people who live in this country. People whose husbands didn’t fucking kill themselves and leave the mess for them to clean up. This economy shit right now, it kind of puts us all in the same hole together, doesn’t it?” Yes, my survivor friend, it does.

Daughter’s Featured Fotos are Feeling Autumn

fall’s bounty

crisp air, colorful lights

halloween preview

mmmm . . . white castle

Posted in All Things Considered | Tagged bad econony, ebay, maxed out credit cards, suicide, tragic death | Comments Off

They Ain’t Hooking Rugs

Posted on October 15, 2008 by onesanevoice

On our recent trip to the Northwest, Husband and I explored a bit of Washington after we absorbed the flavor of Seattle. In Yakima, I had the best pan-fried oysters I’ve ever tasted, while Walla Walla lingers in my mind as a charming small city where we came upon a cleverly staged political statement.

This picture provides a segue to tell you about a walking tour we took in Pendleton, Oregon that included a 19th century bordello. But first, I’ll let you in on our secret of successful vacation taking: Put all your effort into the planning; once you’re on the road, improvise. The reason Yakima, Walla Walla, and Pendleton found their way onto our itinerary was because we liked how their names sounded when we studied the state map in our Seattle hotel room. On more than one vacation, we have driven a hundred miles for a cool-sounding town. We’ve never been disappointed.

Including Pendleton on the route this trip was my idea. I thought Husband would enjoy visiting the Pendleton Mills and factory store since he’s in love with their woolen blankets and clothing. It so happens I’m allergic to wool. I’m also allergic to cats. As a child, I thought cats were made of wool since they both made me itch. Obviously, I was a city kid.

When we married and moved in together, Husband brought with him several classic woolen blankets, but the cat had sadly already taken a dirt nap. If I were present for the burial, I might have suggested a lovely woolen shroud for the beloved creature, but Husband hadn’t met me yet so I couldn’t offer an opinion.

Aside from visiting the Pendleton Woolen Mills, where Husband purchased a terrific hat and vest, we took the Pendleton Underground Tour, a major tourist attraction along with the annual Round-Up Rodeo for which we arrived too late. Actually, we were about 160 years too late for Pendleton’s old west heyday when it was settled by travelers on the Oregon Trail in the 1840s.

The underground tunnels in Pendleton were dug by the town’s Chinese population between 1870 and 1930 and originally covered over 70 miles underneath the city. Sundown Laws at the time required the Chinese to be off the streets after dark or face severe punishment or death. In addition to housing the persecuted Asians, the tunnels were home to many businesses such as ice plants, butcher shops, Chinese laundries, whorehouses, drinking establishments, and opium dens.

There is no mistaking what the main entertainment in Pendleton was during its early days. Having a population of 3,000 didn’t stop it from supporting 32 saloons and 18 bordellos. In fact, our tour included a boarding house-type building with a long wooden staircase leading from the heavy front door upstairs to the Cozy Rooms where the working girls … worked. And work it must have been. In small, airless rooms sparsely furnished with rough beds and chamber pots, there was very little to recommend their profession as one of choice. Even without a single cat or woolen blanket in sight, you could feel the itch.

Waiting their turn to romp in old Pendleton

underground tour display

Travelnote: Many thanks to Dave’s Diner and Brew in Seatac, Washington for mailing my favorite scarf back to me. After that giant glass of chardonnay, I’m glad it’s the only piece of clothing I left in your booth.

Posted in Travelblog | Tagged Gallup, New Mexico, Pendleton Mills, Pendleton Underground Tour, Pendleton Washington, Washington, Yakima | Comments Off

Seattle Cool

Posted on October 11, 2008 by onesanevoice

Husband and I are enjoying the state of Washington on our vacation in the Pacific Northwest, and here are some of my impressions of the Space Needle city:

1. Seattle is very clean. The fine for tossing a cigarette butt on the sidewalk is $250. If NYC had this law, we could have bailed out Wall Street without the Fed’s help.

2. Seattle is very white. The first ten houses on my block back in New York have more ethnic groups living in them than this entire city. A weekend in Seattle feels like you’re at a two-day NHL hockey game.

3. Seattle is walkable and accessible although insanely hilly. Your thighs will hate you and then love you. In between, you will hear them cry.

4. The people are friendly and comfortable and the food is exceptional.

5. No one wears bright colors.

6. What passes for heavy traffic is tame by NY standards in that the cars do eventually move, but parking is horrific no matter where you’re from.

Fortunately, we were on foot and the city buses are FREE, so in two days we managed to touch on every major neighborhood and do all the things on our list. My list, that is. Husband’s list consisted of “drink coffee” which is a gimme in Seattle. Espresso is the major local crop. Every business has ‘and espresso’ after it, as in ‘Car Wash and Espresso’, or ‘Nail Salon and Espresso’. By the end of our visit, we were expecting to see ‘No Parking and Espresso’.

The first of our memorable meals was at a spot called Sazerac in the downtown area. Our charming server responded to my request for something different by suggesting an amazing appetizer of bacon wrapped grilled dates filled with goat cheese. Husband said his free-range chicken with its moist meat and crispy skin was the best he could remember having. It came with an individual loaf pan of bread pudding-like stuffing redolent with onion and homey goodness. He had to keep pushing my fork aside. The creamy butterscotch/caramel cheesecake was also outstanding albeit another battle of the forks.

That night in our hotel room, we watched the vice presidential debate and I have to say Sarah Palin’s Joe-six-pack, hockey-mom around the kitchen table rhetoric almost brought my grilled dates back up. Yes, she’s glib and easy on the eyes – like my early boyfriends before I knew better – but the specter of her in the White House would mean another Bush-like administration warning us about the spread of all things nukular which has worn me out. It’s NUCLEAR, you boneheads. You can’t stop it if you can’t pronounce it.

Our plan after Seattle was to rent a car and head north to Canada, but the Weather Channel convinced us to head east for a better forecast. So we found ourselves in Yakima, Washington in yet another coffeehouse ordering cappuccino. At the table next to us were a couple of Joe-six-packs discussing their take on the debate, which was clearly different from my own. They were both in agreement that the best-case scenario would be for McCain to be elected, meet an unfortunate fate, and clear the way for President Palin. I could have sworn by then those grilled dates were long gone, but damn if I didn’t feel them coming back for an encore.

My snaps of Seattle give Daughter’s Featured Fotos the day off

needle in the rain

downtown congestion, ground and air

seattle 3 crayfish_at_the_flying_fish_market

crayfish at pike place market

under the bridge troll

starbucks hq: pinky and the brain try to take over the world one bean at a time

Note: This entry marks the end of my second year writing this blog. I thank you all for reading and please stay tuned for season three.

Posted in Travelblog | Tagged best espresso, hockey mom, Joe-six-pack, nuclear vs nukular, Sarah Palin, Seattle, vice-presidential debate | Comments Off

OneSaneVoice

Hand me the wrench

Take the money and ride

Run for your life

We Don’t Get Fooled Again

Into the Night

Within, Without

A New Term

The Great Equalizer

They Ain’t Hooking Rugs

Seattle Cool

Recent Posts

Archives

Categories

Recent Comments

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Meta