This weekend was Son’s college graduation from The State University of Out-of-State Full Tuition and we all drove there in different cars at different times to accommodate varying work and school schedules. What is normally a 5-hour drive took Husband and I over seven hours due to huge construction delays on the interstate, whereas traffic is never a problem for Son who does his traveling in the middle of the night. Daughter arrived the next day in plenty of time for the afternoon ceremony so it came to be that the whole famdamily was together to celebrate Son’s achievement, and I would have gladly driven twice as long to be even half as happy.
This was our second densely populated college graduation, Daughter’s having taken place 4 years ago in Boston at the mobbed Fleet Center. Son’s was at the University Stadium, his school being one of the Big Conference sports schools and I know this because his fall meal plan was always supplemented by crashing pre-game tailgate parties. Those publications about choosing colleges that the families of high school seniors are advised to consult never give the really clutch information needed to make the wisest decision so I’ll share it with you here: The town that lives for football will always keep your child alive.
All the pomp of a major university graduation was no doubt wasted on Son who would have been willing to swipe his report card somewhere and have a diploma pop out the slot and then go to dinner and get on with his life. From our seats high up in the stands all the students looked equally fidgety and we were actually focused on someone else’s offspring until Daughter went down with Husband’s camera to get close-ups and texted up to us with his true location. By that point the university president was intoning with emotion that the graduates were joining a special group of individuals, the 159,000 alumni of State U, and no matter where they go for the rest of their lives they will never be without copious mail soliciting donations.
Then a singer broke into the State U alma mater which made the graduates look at each other like, “What the hell is that?” since most school anthems are pretty much identical and equally unmemorable unless you’re at Notre Dame, and the majority of students have never paid any attention to it until they’re sitting there getting diplomas. My high school alma mater began, “‘Neath the lakes and hills lies Ourtown…” and the girl next to me at graduation said, “We don’t have a lake” and I could have added we didn’t have any hills either but she was obviously so hung over she didn’t care. I mentioned to Son after the ceremony that it sounded like one of the lines in his school song was, “Stay my heart and swell my feet” and his response was, “Possibly.”
We then went to the restaurant where Son had made reservations for us and had the most wonderful dinner. At first we were a little surprised when our waiter introduced himself and drew our attention to the latex gloves he was wearing and explained he didn’t have anything contagious, he just had paint on his hands. When we didn’t respond right away he added, “I wouldn’t have brought it up but I think honesty is the best policy and I don’t want you to think I have a rash or anything.” We gave him our drink order and after he left Daughter suggested that maybe we should tell him that there are things that remove paint, like paint thinner, and Son responded that he probably couldn’t use paint thinner because of his rash.
We talked some more about what a lovely ceremony it was and how proud we all were and Daughter said it seemed like a lot of students stood up when the dean announced the recipients of Highest Distinction. To which Son replied, “I could have been one of them, you know, if I hadn’t done the bare minimum.” And honesty being the best policy, the future awaits.